So, a quick google tells me I’m not the first to post about urinating myself within visual distance of the finish line. In fact, a quick google tells me that this will be one in ~181,000 results for “peed my pants while running”. In fact, apparently racers strategically pee their pants in order to beat PRs, Boston qualify, etc.
As I was warming up for my race, getting nervous, and bouncing around I felt like I could use a pee break. Truth be told, I always feel like I could use a pee break. It was five minutes to start and I decided to let it pass and I’d go later…. dun, dun, dun.
I started off slow, a 10:3x mile, felt a little nervous cause that wasn’t really the plan. But I picked up a little speed, and although I didn’t wear my watch and was just listening to the Nike lady tell me my pace every half mile, I think I was doing negative splits down to the last mile.
I felt fine up to the last mile. I passed porter potties at the mid-way point and scoffed at the ladies who decided to take a break. I was so excited I was going so fast. I even tried one of those water cups and coughed and sputtered the next .2 miles. I was doing great. Every mile, the Nike lady in my ear was telling me my average pace was shorter than before. I was going to do a sub-1 hour 10K!!
Mile 5, I started feeling little warm trickles with each stride. I was leaking. The rest of my body was working so hard, I guess my bladder thought it could take this mile off. No porter potty in sight — they figured people were educated enough to be able to not pee for the last half mile. There was one more turn to the finish line. I saw the park cafe and knew it had a restroom, so I pulled off the course. I wasn’t going to make it. I just nonchalantly pretended I was a finished racer spectating while I urinated down my compression tights and partly in my shoe.
I felt ashamed for a moment and felt my sub-1 hour 10K was dashed. I considered calling my Fiance from the bathroom and saying “Come pick me up with the car” like a child finished with social interaction for the day (just me?). I went into the restroom, but quickly realized there was no way to, well, do anything.
Nothing left to do but finish the race.
So I jumped back on the course and starting jogging. My legs had a nice break, my bladder relieved, so I started sprinting toward the finish line. I made the turn, passed a few people, AND LO AND BEHOLD!!! THE CLOCK SAID 1:00:16!! WHAT?!?!!?! WHAT?!
Lessons learned today:
1. Races once a month are a tough thing.
2. Runners pee their pants.
3. Always bring a spare pair of clothes for whatever the struggle might be.
4. I can run negative splits in a 10K race!